Victor Stelmashenko (Lansing)

Victor Stelmashenko, Ukrainian Cossack warrior, devoted Christian. We will all miss his wisdom, wit, and his encyclopedic knowledge. His character, in-depth understanding of humanity and passion for life, his strength, his kindness, his calmness, and profound common sense. He was diligent, articulate, disciplined, hardworking, and thus gained great respect from both domestic and international friends.

Victor graduated as a top student from military academy, was offered a commissioned officer position in the army, but he declined and chose civilian life, though later, he was a commissioned colonel in the National Guard. To him, he fulfilled his duty to his culture, as the oldest son, as a citizen, and had never registered nor claimed veteran benefits.

Victor was a courageous man, from his Ukrainian heritage and family trade. In high school, he and a group of students got the FBI's attention by building a rocket, but that also led to him being on the first US nuclear missile site. When there was an opportunity to be a terrain draftsman in the military, he boldly applied for the position and worked as he was studying.

Victor also recognized the good side of the enemy; for they too are human. He remembered the Germans who would first taste the food they offered to remove the fear of being poisoned when he was sick and hungry as a child. 

When times were difficult, he didn’t look for an easy way out. Through hard work and his bold confidence and cunning, Victor managed to become the owner of two oil rigs off the coast of Nigeria. However, during a union strike, he lost them both. Other small operators couldn't take the pressure and took their own lives. Victor managed to pay off every penny and then “crouched in my corner to lick my wounds.” He then landed a job as a janitor at a luxurious hotel, simply by commenting that if they had a broom, he would have a job, and he did. Naturally, he was quickly promoted, but he missed his three children. His ex-wife decided to leave and wanted Victor to take care of them. Without any hesitation, he quit the highly promising yet very demanding position and joined his brother’s carpet business where a single father could have time to take care of three young kids.

Victor placed principle before personal gain. He often said that your value is what you're asked, not what is given to you. During the segregation era, he was one of the first to hire an African American for the carpet business. There were many times he lost money because of discrimination against African Americans in his crew.

One time, as Victor was working with his crew installing carpet, his brother Stanley brought a professor of anthropology, the study of humanity, to the job site. After talking with Victor, she asked him who his professor was and from which university. Victor responded that he didn’t go to any school, and said to her, "you studied humanity, but I am human". That might be the reason that he had such extraordinary achievements, but also extraordinary losses, just like most of humanity.

Victor loved life and living and didn't hate, not even those who took advantage of him. He had a profound understanding of human nature in his dealing with people and business. His principle was, if people ask for one dollar, give them a bit more. He often said, it only takes a few dollars for first class. Even in buffet places, he would place the napkins and utensils just like at a 5-star restaurant.

Victor's faith was unshakable, he feared no one, not even the devil, but GOD only. In his early 50’s, his Christian friend told him that the body is the temple of God. That same day, he stopped smoking 3 packs a day, plus cigars and pipes, cold turkey. For a year, whenever he woke up in the morning, his mouth was full of black tar, but since that date, he never touched it again. When his ex-wife passed away, according to his culture, he didn’t date again for a year. He then prayed for a wife and knew that one would come. He didn't see any women until he met me, his surviving wife, Shijing.

A few days after we met, he invited me to a New Year's party in 2008 and told his friend that I would be his wife. His friend was shocked because he saw that I was keeping my distance from him.

"Does she know that”?

“No, but she will”.

As I was shopping for an engagement ring in my apartment, Victor picked up a piece of paper from the table and wrote a poem. He then asked me if I agreed I should sign. After I signed, he grinned and said, "you have just accepted my marriage proposal".

Leap up and ride the winds with me Upon the clouds where souls are free; Leap up and fly with destiny And help me write our history. Come soar with me where eagles play And tempt the fates each given day That some one day may proudly say; “this is their mark; they passed this way.”

Victor was 21 years older than me. Exactly one year after that party, on December 31st, 2009, we were married in the tallest observation tower in the country, the Stratosphere, watching the fireworks come down above us. Victor said then that we would never forget our wedding anniversary. Even on his departure, Victor picked the date that the country he loved and treasured so deeply, would be rejoicing. This time, he watched the fireworks from above. And that is the day I will always remember. 

On the same piece of paper, I replied:

Empties are the gain of man His glories lie beneath the sand All is today then nothing more And all that but a fleeting thought a figment in a madman’s dream.

Victor’s father, a tribal chief, was buried as a WWII war hero. Victor, as the oldest son and a commissioned colonel, shall be rested the same manner.

Proverbs 22:1 "A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favour rather than silver and gold"